7.12.09
3.12.09
good morning
Today wasn't the best morning seeing as how Jack ended up banished and screaming in his room no more than an hour after waking up. However, I still love the moments. The little ones where they are so cute and so sweet and so...quiet. Nothing like it sometimes. I think these moments are the reason it takes me until noon to get out of the house some days.
1.12.09
two new
Below there are two new posts. One with gads of photos and another with a Kat sized rant. Enjoy.
refusal
I have been refusing alot of things lately and let me just tell you, it feels phenomenal. Shall I explain?
Two weeks ago I took advantage of my husband. It felt so good. Know why? Because I rarely do. I don't mean I left him huddled-in-a-corner-needing-therapy-abuse, I mean, I-left-him-with-the-kids-as-much-as-possible-abuse. The part that I refused? The part where I feel guilty for leaving my perfectly capable, doctor husband with the kids for longer than 1 consecutive hour. Call me crazy but I have this serious guilt complex that keeps me dwelling on how unfair it is for me to do this to him. But two weeks ago, I refused to feel the guilt. I pushed it out of my body and it felt so good. I love time away, by myself, GUILT FREE.
Know what else have I been refusing? To feel embarrassed about my unruly kids in public. I am so sick of apologizing to random strangers at the store, restaurants, and the doctors office for my kids acting like, well, KIDS! I hate that I feel this need to explain my two year olds behavior. Or even worse, my seven month olds behavior! Are you seriously going to give me that disapproving look when my kid is throwing a flailing fit over not getting chocolate milk? Shouldn't you be applauding me for being a responsible mother who doesn't give in to her child's every want? Let me just answer that question for you Mrs. Random Disapproving Stranger. YES! You should be applauding! Because I am a good mom with great kids who just so happen to throw a fit on occasion. I will NOT apologize! I refuse.
I eat too much. Did you know that? Hmm. You didn't? I could have sworn you knew that. Anyway, I am refusing dinner. Not when I am hungry for it but when I am not hungry for it. Who says that you have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner? I don't. In fact. Screw eating any designated meal when I'm not hungry. It just gives me gas and a fat ____.
I refuse to be pin pointed as a person with ill intentions. I swear I am like a target for this. I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I am an evil girl inside but for some reason I always get accused of this. You know what?! I hate it! Absolutely hate it. I'm not sitting here saying that I am a saint. I am just saying that my natural intentions towards people I love or even just like are always good. Good I tell ya. So stop trying to make me seem like a mega B-word. I refuse to let the world believe that about me. You better believe that the next person who tries to point their gnarly finger at me like this again is gonna get their head ripped off. I guess that will be the point when my intentions actually do go bad. Watch out.
Sometimes it feels good to refuse.
Two weeks ago I took advantage of my husband. It felt so good. Know why? Because I rarely do. I don't mean I left him huddled-in-a-corner-needing-therapy-abuse, I mean, I-left-him-with-the-kids-as-much-as-possible-abuse. The part that I refused? The part where I feel guilty for leaving my perfectly capable, doctor husband with the kids for longer than 1 consecutive hour. Call me crazy but I have this serious guilt complex that keeps me dwelling on how unfair it is for me to do this to him. But two weeks ago, I refused to feel the guilt. I pushed it out of my body and it felt so good. I love time away, by myself, GUILT FREE.
Know what else have I been refusing? To feel embarrassed about my unruly kids in public. I am so sick of apologizing to random strangers at the store, restaurants, and the doctors office for my kids acting like, well, KIDS! I hate that I feel this need to explain my two year olds behavior. Or even worse, my seven month olds behavior! Are you seriously going to give me that disapproving look when my kid is throwing a flailing fit over not getting chocolate milk? Shouldn't you be applauding me for being a responsible mother who doesn't give in to her child's every want? Let me just answer that question for you Mrs. Random Disapproving Stranger. YES! You should be applauding! Because I am a good mom with great kids who just so happen to throw a fit on occasion. I will NOT apologize! I refuse.
I eat too much. Did you know that? Hmm. You didn't? I could have sworn you knew that. Anyway, I am refusing dinner. Not when I am hungry for it but when I am not hungry for it. Who says that you have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner? I don't. In fact. Screw eating any designated meal when I'm not hungry. It just gives me gas and a fat ____.
I refuse to be pin pointed as a person with ill intentions. I swear I am like a target for this. I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I am an evil girl inside but for some reason I always get accused of this. You know what?! I hate it! Absolutely hate it. I'm not sitting here saying that I am a saint. I am just saying that my natural intentions towards people I love or even just like are always good. Good I tell ya. So stop trying to make me seem like a mega B-word. I refuse to let the world believe that about me. You better believe that the next person who tries to point their gnarly finger at me like this again is gonna get their head ripped off. I guess that will be the point when my intentions actually do go bad. Watch out.
Sometimes it feels good to refuse.
hittin' the pipe
How cool is it that Michael's brother put a half pipe in his back yard? This cool.
Uncle Tony
The one and only Jon McDonald.
My redneck husband.
Why is he the only one who wouldn't get dressed? Really Babe? Not even a shirt? I guess he figures his mustache will keep him warm enough.
Uncle Allen in plaid. He likes to take the latest trend to the extreme.
Little leggy Leah.
The always poised ML.
Please be careful Dad.
Chad. Saweeeet.
The Peanut Gallery.
Yikes.
I took these. Isn't he the coolest?
Forty one and still grindin'. Nice Jeff.
And how could we leave out Ezra? Yeah. He just turned three. This kid can rip!
Uncle Tony
The one and only Jon McDonald.
My redneck husband.
Why is he the only one who wouldn't get dressed? Really Babe? Not even a shirt? I guess he figures his mustache will keep him warm enough.
Uncle Allen in plaid. He likes to take the latest trend to the extreme.
Little leggy Leah.
The always poised ML.
Please be careful Dad.
Chad. Saweeeet.
The Peanut Gallery.
Yikes.
I took these. Isn't he the coolest?
Forty one and still grindin'. Nice Jeff.
And how could we leave out Ezra? Yeah. He just turned three. This kid can rip!
14.11.09
it's all inside
Hi friends. I just wanted to take a moment to talk. You know how I like to do that. :)
Last night I came down with a sudden and horrible case of the stomach flu. It was a miserable night but luckily Michael was there with a syringe and some Zofran to ease the nausea. In fact, I didn't ever puke again after that! So I ask you, how lucky am I that my husband is a doctor?! Way, way, way too lucky for words. His medical training has been a constant source of comfort and help that I could have never imagined.
Today poor little Jack has come down with the same bug. Of course we were in the car on the interstate when he decided to bogue everywhere. It was so awful to watch my little punkin' go through everything I had gone through the night before. We quickly turned our car around and headed home even though we were 15 miles from Phoenix (what is it about that city that we just don't jive with?). When we were about half way home there was a HUGE car accident. We're talkin' bodies laid out under sheets on the side of the road accident. It was horrendous. But do you know what? It was on the other side of the interstate. We didn't even have to slow down a bit. The traffic was literally backed up for over 20 miles and we were free to just drive on by. Such a blessing. Do you know what else? We had stopped at a gas station right near the accident when we saw a police car flip on his lights and drive off presumably heading for the accident. I had been begging Michael to pull over on the side of the road but he kept going all the way to the gas station. If he had listened to me, we would have been on the side of the road RIGHT were the accident happened probably RIGHT before it happened. Can you believe that? How lucky are we?
Maybe two days ago I was researching online different car washes that do car detailing. I just thought it was time to get the seats, carpet and inside cleaned out professionally. It isn't as expensive as I thought it was going to be but I knew it was a kind of bigger splurge. Of course I never got around to doing it this week. Isn't that ridiculous? I mean seriously? Now I have puke all over my seats and the money it will cost to have it done doesn't even matter. What if I had done it already? I would be so pissed!
Now we are just waiting for both Michael and Violet to clear this thing. Neither one of them has shown signs of it yet (scratch that, Michael is now laying on the floor next to me with a stomach ache) but I feel like it's inevitable. I am just so lucky to have the husband that I do and to have the spirit as a guide. Also, I lost 4 pounds over night. Surely just water weight that I will gain back by tomorrow but still, 4 pounds. It was fun to wake up this morning, stand on the scale and see such a small number. Don't get me wrong, I would never, ever, EVER willingly go through that again even for 4 pounds but still...there's always a bright side right? :)
p.s. I know some of you are probably thinking, "man she is so bi-polar with her posts. One day she is miserable and the next the stomach flu is great. What is her deal?" To those of you who were just thinking this, I apologize. I guess it just re-iterates the fact that I am a pretty open person. It's just too exhausting to fake it ya know? :)
Last night I came down with a sudden and horrible case of the stomach flu. It was a miserable night but luckily Michael was there with a syringe and some Zofran to ease the nausea. In fact, I didn't ever puke again after that! So I ask you, how lucky am I that my husband is a doctor?! Way, way, way too lucky for words. His medical training has been a constant source of comfort and help that I could have never imagined.
Today poor little Jack has come down with the same bug. Of course we were in the car on the interstate when he decided to bogue everywhere. It was so awful to watch my little punkin' go through everything I had gone through the night before. We quickly turned our car around and headed home even though we were 15 miles from Phoenix (what is it about that city that we just don't jive with?). When we were about half way home there was a HUGE car accident. We're talkin' bodies laid out under sheets on the side of the road accident. It was horrendous. But do you know what? It was on the other side of the interstate. We didn't even have to slow down a bit. The traffic was literally backed up for over 20 miles and we were free to just drive on by. Such a blessing. Do you know what else? We had stopped at a gas station right near the accident when we saw a police car flip on his lights and drive off presumably heading for the accident. I had been begging Michael to pull over on the side of the road but he kept going all the way to the gas station. If he had listened to me, we would have been on the side of the road RIGHT were the accident happened probably RIGHT before it happened. Can you believe that? How lucky are we?
Maybe two days ago I was researching online different car washes that do car detailing. I just thought it was time to get the seats, carpet and inside cleaned out professionally. It isn't as expensive as I thought it was going to be but I knew it was a kind of bigger splurge. Of course I never got around to doing it this week. Isn't that ridiculous? I mean seriously? Now I have puke all over my seats and the money it will cost to have it done doesn't even matter. What if I had done it already? I would be so pissed!
Now we are just waiting for both Michael and Violet to clear this thing. Neither one of them has shown signs of it yet (scratch that, Michael is now laying on the floor next to me with a stomach ache) but I feel like it's inevitable. I am just so lucky to have the husband that I do and to have the spirit as a guide. Also, I lost 4 pounds over night. Surely just water weight that I will gain back by tomorrow but still, 4 pounds. It was fun to wake up this morning, stand on the scale and see such a small number. Don't get me wrong, I would never, ever, EVER willingly go through that again even for 4 pounds but still...there's always a bright side right? :)
p.s. I know some of you are probably thinking, "man she is so bi-polar with her posts. One day she is miserable and the next the stomach flu is great. What is her deal?" To those of you who were just thinking this, I apologize. I guess it just re-iterates the fact that I am a pretty open person. It's just too exhausting to fake it ya know? :)
9.11.09
complimentary
I just wanted to say something about compliments. I don't know if you remember a post I wrote quite a while back (I'm not about to go fishing for it sorry) about how I am naturally judgemental without even trying. I hate that about myself and I'm working on it but something I like about myself is how easily I notice the good things about people. I am one of those people that will see someone in the grocery store with really white teeth and stop them to let them know. I like to tell people what they are good at and why I like them. It really makes me happy to be able to pinpoint something specific about someone and let them know.
Examples:
My friend Heather is awesome. In fact "friend" is too small. She is definitely one of my best friends. One of the things that I like the most about her is her ability to accept help. I know this may sound weird but let me explain. I generally don't like taking help. I am one of those people who is carrying two kids, my purse, a gallon of milk and squirming puppy and I still won't let anyone help me. Heather, on the other hand, says, "yes, that would be great." Without even putting up a fight. I love it! It makes it so easy to serve her and in turn grow close to her. One of my favorite memories of the first part of our friendship was when she agreed to let me bring her lunch. She was pregnant and hot and broke and hungry. It felt so good to be able to bring her those silly chicken sandwiches without her fighting me about it!
Another person I admire is Jessica. She is incredible in so many ways. She is so talented and generous and loving. My favorite thing about her is how genuine she is. Seriously, she will send me a text or leave me a message and say the kindest things. I save her messages for long periods of time because I know what she is saying is heart felt and real. The best part is that they are often just random and out of the blue. She is a ray of sunshine for me. I love her.
When I moved to Tucson I met someone awesome. Her name is Lili and she is so cool. I mean that. She is way COOL. I love that about her. I always want her opinion on things because her style is amazing. She has an eye for all things stylish and I love it. I can't help but envy her sometimes because it just comes so naturally to her. She is one of those people that if she ever gave you anything, you would wear it out, hang it up or take lots and lots of pictures with it. She's incredible!
Have I ever told you how grateful I am for my sister-in-law Jenn? She is the one person in Michael's family that I call regularly. I always know that when I talk to her she is going to cheer me up. She just has a light heartedness about her that makes it easy to be around her. You can tell that she loves making people feel special and that she thinks you are special. Because if you weren't special she wouldn't be your friend. ;) I am so lucky to have someone in that family that I can always sit next to, call or hang out with and not feel awkward or uncomfortable. She has welcomed me in to her home and life so openly that I have learned to love a little better because of it.
These are all examples of things that I notice about close friends but there are some of you out there who I don't know so well but still remember what's awesome about you too. I will never forget Sierra's giggly laugh or Ashley's ability to walk away from gossip. I think that Lindy is probably the best friend a person could ever have all around and Jeanette's skin is a thing of dreams.
I have great friends, great family and an awesome life. I complain sometimes but it's days like this when I am able to remember and see the good in people that I can be content with the way things are. I feel lucky to not only have these people, and soooo many more in my life, but I feel lucky to clearly see what I love about them. This is also one time when I am grateful for my big mouth so that I can continue to tell the people around me what I think is special.
Examples:
My friend Heather is awesome. In fact "friend" is too small. She is definitely one of my best friends. One of the things that I like the most about her is her ability to accept help. I know this may sound weird but let me explain. I generally don't like taking help. I am one of those people who is carrying two kids, my purse, a gallon of milk and squirming puppy and I still won't let anyone help me. Heather, on the other hand, says, "yes, that would be great." Without even putting up a fight. I love it! It makes it so easy to serve her and in turn grow close to her. One of my favorite memories of the first part of our friendship was when she agreed to let me bring her lunch. She was pregnant and hot and broke and hungry. It felt so good to be able to bring her those silly chicken sandwiches without her fighting me about it!
Another person I admire is Jessica. She is incredible in so many ways. She is so talented and generous and loving. My favorite thing about her is how genuine she is. Seriously, she will send me a text or leave me a message and say the kindest things. I save her messages for long periods of time because I know what she is saying is heart felt and real. The best part is that they are often just random and out of the blue. She is a ray of sunshine for me. I love her.
When I moved to Tucson I met someone awesome. Her name is Lili and she is so cool. I mean that. She is way COOL. I love that about her. I always want her opinion on things because her style is amazing. She has an eye for all things stylish and I love it. I can't help but envy her sometimes because it just comes so naturally to her. She is one of those people that if she ever gave you anything, you would wear it out, hang it up or take lots and lots of pictures with it. She's incredible!
Have I ever told you how grateful I am for my sister-in-law Jenn? She is the one person in Michael's family that I call regularly. I always know that when I talk to her she is going to cheer me up. She just has a light heartedness about her that makes it easy to be around her. You can tell that she loves making people feel special and that she thinks you are special. Because if you weren't special she wouldn't be your friend. ;) I am so lucky to have someone in that family that I can always sit next to, call or hang out with and not feel awkward or uncomfortable. She has welcomed me in to her home and life so openly that I have learned to love a little better because of it.
These are all examples of things that I notice about close friends but there are some of you out there who I don't know so well but still remember what's awesome about you too. I will never forget Sierra's giggly laugh or Ashley's ability to walk away from gossip. I think that Lindy is probably the best friend a person could ever have all around and Jeanette's skin is a thing of dreams.
I have great friends, great family and an awesome life. I complain sometimes but it's days like this when I am able to remember and see the good in people that I can be content with the way things are. I feel lucky to not only have these people, and soooo many more in my life, but I feel lucky to clearly see what I love about them. This is also one time when I am grateful for my big mouth so that I can continue to tell the people around me what I think is special.
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